


Still Standing Here

by Reader010



Series: A Past that Doesn't Want To Leave [3]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Death, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Nightmares, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4365977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reader010/pseuds/Reader010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruby has lost herself in grief. She's barely functioning.</p><p>Blake feels like shes failed everybody around her. Ruby, her team, her friends, but most importantly, Yang. Because of all the blame being thrown around, Blake's retreated back into a shy, cowardly, depressed girl.</p><p>Weiss is struggling to keep her Team alive. Ruby is at Blake's throat, and Blake's too torn up to defend herself. Blake's spiralling into a deep depression Without the presence of their 'blonde brawler,' Weiss takes over the sisterly role for Ruby, but that doesn't seem to be working...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for it being rather short. But I bet you all forgot about this fic! And I can't have none of that.
> 
> Make sure to have read, "A Messy Night," and "Yet I'm Still Standing Here," first or else you're going to be absolutely lost.
> 
> And yeah, this chapter is just really a setting up of the story, sorry!

_Blake's feet hit the pavement running a mile a minute._

_If only I reach her, maybe she'll be okay. She might just be over the edge. Stay calm Blake._

_Blake was at the edge in another few seconds._

_Yang would be there._ _Yang wouldn't leave them._

_Slowly, ever so slowly, Blake peered over the edge._

_There was no Yang._

_She was gone. Gone._

**_Because of_   _you._**

_The words clawed at Blake's insides, making her want to puke. She backed away from the edge, feeling her knees weaken._

_She couldn't take it. After it was all done. After she'd finally killed Adam and had rid herself of her own demons, she gained a new demon to haunt her._

_Blake collapsed to her knees. Ruby tumbled out of her arms and onto the pavement of the roof._

**_It was all my fault._ ** _She told herself, knowing it was the truth._

 ** _It had always been my_   _fault._** _Ruby was right._

_All Yang had ever wanted was to protect her. To keep her safe._

_Why couldn't I do the same for her?_

* * *

Blake woke from the nightmare  with a start, launching herself up in the bed.

After a moment she realized it was just a dream. Blake fell back in her bed. Just a dream.

A small part of her told her to look in the bed above her. To see if Yang was there, if that was all it had ever been. A dream.

That part of her told her that Adam never showed up. That Yang never died.

But she knew it was pointless to look, because she already had done it. Everyday she woke up from her nightmare from her own internal torment, and hoped beyond hope that Yang was still with them.

But... she never was.

 _Because of her._ The thought tore Blake's heart apart, yet it wasn't the first time she'd ever thought it. And she wasn't the only one to think that way.

**_One month._ **

_It had been one month since everything went straight to hell._

_It had been one month of Blake living with the guilt of knowing it was_   ** _all_** _her fault._

Her alarm went off to her right. Blake groaned. She had barely gotten any sleep last night. 

Blake turned over and slammed the off button before rolling out of bed. Like always the dormitory was empty of her teammates, both of them having long since gotten up.

Blake stood up and made a beeline for the bathroom, grabbing her nearest school uniform on the way.

Slamming the door behind her, Blake turned the shower onto a blistering hot, not even caring about the much too hot temperature, only wanting to be woken up by the hot water. Quickly she undressed. She didn't even bother to look in the mirror to see how much of a mess she was.

Her shower under the heat was over quick, and Blake got dressed in her school dress, hoping she wasn't late for class.

Blake walked back into Team RWBY's main room to find her school supplies she took a quick glance at her clock.

8:47. Alright, she had only missed breakfast. No big deal. She didn't really even eat much anymore, never mind go to breakfast.

Though she was going to miss her coffee...

As if her thoughts had been heard across the halls of Beacon, Weiss walked into the dorm with a big mug of coffee in hand.

"Someone order an extra large black coffee?" Weiss asked teasingly as she closed the door behind her with her foot.

"Thanks." Blake replied before gulping down half the cup. Showers were good at waking people up, sure, but this was the stuff of miracles.

Every once in a while over the last few weeks Weiss had come to the rescue with the hot beverage for the cat Faunus.

"How you feeling?" Weiss asked.

"Just as bad as usual." Blake honestly replied. A moment passed.

"Have you seen Ruby?" Weiss asked Blake worriedly. Blake shook her head.

"Probably avoiding me." Blake said quietly. Weiss didn't respond to that.

"Are you ready? Class is in ten minutes." Weiss told her.

"Yeah I'm fine." Blake said.

"Alright." Weiss said. "I've got to go find Ruby to make sure she doesn't skip class today."

"Got it..." Blake said and Weiss fled out the door and down the hall, searching for her grief-controlled girlfriend.

A minute later Blake sat on her bed. She took another long sip of her coffee.

_She really didn't want to go to class today._

_Then again, she really didn't want to do anything today._

_Or ever again for that matter._

Still, Blake pulled herself off her bed and onto her feet, knowing it was pointless to hide from the day for any longer than she already had.

Grabbing some supplies Blake knew she wouldn't use, she walked out the dorm door and into the hallway.

Just another day.

Just another day to get through.

It felt like Blake had been saying that to herself for much more than just a month. It felt like an eternity. 

* * *

 _Where could she be this time?_ Weiss asked herself. She hadn't been at breakfast so she could be at any one of her usual 'hiding spots.'

_She hadn't been crying in the empty classroom._

_Or taking anger out on the Grimm in the Emerald Forest._

_Or sulking in the library._

_...Maybe she's on the roof today?_ Weiss thought before heading to the stairs. The huntress in training stifled a yawn. Looking for Ruby for an hour every morning wasn't something new for the heiress. If she didn't, the girl wouldn't even go to class that day...

...and probably skip lunch...

...and dinner...

...and curfew.

The heiress did a half yawn/sigh. She wasn't very good at this comforting stuff... that was Yang's specialty, not hers.

But now it was up to her to pull her girlfriend- and her friend- out of depression.

It wasn't exactly easy. The Ice Queen had barely gotten any sleep in the past month. Although she didn't have nightmares like Blake and she didn't run off in the middle of the night like Ruby, the stress and responsibility of being the one there for everyone was a lot...

Finally Weiss reached the roof.

Ruby sat at the edge of the building, and it took all of Weiss's effort and self-control not to sigh at this all too common sight.

* * *

 _I could just jump right now._ Ruby thought looking down this building to the ground. _I could end it right now if I did. All I'd have to do is deactivate my Aura..._

_Nobody would miss me. Nobody besides Weiss and Tai... But even Weiss doesn't really care._

_No, she's only doing this because she's my girlfriend. She fells the need to do this- take care of me, make sure I'm okay and all that..._

_I should just jump. Save her the trouble._

_Is there even a point in going on?_

"Ruby." a gentle hand laid on her shoulder snapped Ruby out of her thoughts.

"Oh." The sixteen year old replied. "Hey Weiss."

"Ruby..." Weiss said, but Ruby only pulled her knees into her chest and looked off in the distance.

Weiss sighed and sat down next to her mourning girlfriend.

"Still thinking about her?" Weiss asked, concerned.

Ruby hummed sadly in agreement. Weiss pulled Ruby close.

"It's okay Ruby. It's okay." Weiss repeated. "I've got you."

Ruby rocked back in forth in her girlfriend's arms, before pulling her face close to Weiss jacket and crying into it.

"I miss her so much, Weiss..." Ruby said.

"There there..." Weiss calmly said. "I've got you." Ruby continued to cry into the heiress's shoulder.

"It's her fault Weiss." Ruby said between sobs. "She caused all this."

Weiss sighed, knowing exactly who Ruby was talking about, and she didn't even bother to try and convince the sixteen year old otherwise.

Over the last month Ruby had developed a unwavering hatred for Blake. It started after Blake had brought Ruby back to the hospital after being kidnapped.

_Weiss had woken up in the hospital bed before Blake had returned. When she did return, the trembling Blake was too distraught to explain anything or say anything, Instead only handing Ruby over to the nearest doctor. But Weiss knew just from looking at her, and the fact that Yang was nowhere too be seen._

_The doctor set a resting area for Ruby in the same room as Weiss and Blake sat in the chair in the corner, refusing to get patched up, even though it was completely illogical not to. Blake never spoke a word for the entire night, nor did she ever fall asleep. When Ruby woke up the next morning and asked where her sister was... She took one look at Blake before she started yelling. Blake didn't even try to defend herself, just taking the verbal abuse without saying a word._

It hadn't gotten any bit better in the last month, if not worse. Ruby was constantly harassing the Faunus whenever she saw her, and Blake didn't even try to explain herself... she just took the punishment as if she was asking for it. Weiss always tried to disrupt the one-sided arguments, 

Weiss only continued to comfort Ruby silently as the the girl cried.

"She may be gone Ruby..." Weiss said in a gentle voice. "But I'm here for you."  _and Blake._ Weiss added silently to herself.

Unbeknownst to either Weiss or the crying Ruby, Blake stood outside the door to the roof, using her Faunus hearing to eavesdrop on the conversation. The girl had passed by the door on the way to class, before deciding to listen.

The cat Faunus sighed to herself. She couldn't deny what Ruby said because the girl was right.

Blake had dragged them all into this.

It had been _her_ past that caused trouble for Team RWBY.

She was the reason Yang was dead.

The others never had a choice as to if they wanted to get involved or not.

Blake collapsed to the ground against the wall and held the tears back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bigger, longer updates are definitely on the way!


	2. Chapter 2

Blake looked down at the untouched plate as she continued to scratch her fork through her pile of salad. It was lunchtime and the Faunus had already managed to make it through two of her classes.

"Blake, you should eat." Pyrrha said across the table from her. Blake only hummed in acknowledgment, causing Pyrrha to sigh.

"I'm not hungry." She declared before unceremoniously dropping her fork on the tray.

"Haven't heard that one before." Nora snorted. The cat Faunus pretended not to hear the snarky comment coming from the girl in front of her.

As the tray slammed right next to her on the table Blake visibly flinched, even though she had heard the footsteps heading her way. Blake could feel Ruby's glare into the side of her head as the girl sat down. Weiss arrived on Ruby's heels, took one look at the two of them and decided it was wise to keep the peace and sit in between her girlfriend and Blake.

There was absolutely no talking between the two teams, besides the occasional pity glance from Pyrrha to Weiss. Blake stated only at her plate, finding her salad much more interesting now while Ruby managed to shoot death glares at Blake while she ate her food. Weiss only sat there rubbing her skull.

"So... uh..." Nora awkwardly attempted to speak, even the usual sugar hyped girl taking extra precautions as she talked. "...See ya' in class... I guess." She said before she, and therefore Ren, as the man seemed to never leave her side, stood up to dispose of their trash.

No one even commented when Nora badly whispered 'well, that was awkward' to Ren as they walked away.

"I'm heading to the library..." Blake said before cautiously getting up, still attempting to ignore Ruby's not-so-subtle glares.

Weiss only sighed and half-slammed half-placed her head into her hands on the table as Blake walked away and Ruby's plastic fork snapped under her tight grip. Without even removing her head from the table she reached out and handed her own fork to Ruby, who took it without comment.

 _When would this end?_ Weiss thought to herself, exasperated. _It's already been a month and the two still can't even sit in the same room without nearly causing a earthquake to form from all the tension._

"Right. Uh well..." Jaune said, rubbing his neck. "Me, Nora, Ren, and Pyrrha-"

 _Pyrrha, Nora, Ren and I,_ Weiss mentally corrected, but too tired to point out the mistake to the blond.

"-are heading to Vale tonight for drinks. ...Maybe you'd want to go with us?" Jaune finished. 

The unspoken statement everyone at the table heard and understood, save for Ruby, who was picking at her food, was ' _you look like you need a drink.'_

_'Or twenty.'_

Under normal circumstance, Weiss would never in a million years want to hang out alone with Team JNPR, who in her mind were composed of an idiot, a person who was head over heels in love with said idiot, a psychopath, and the psychopath's mysterious silent friend.

Then again, this last month hadn't been normal.

Or easy.

...And Weiss really needed a drink.

"That sounds... nice..." Weiss admitted.

"...Really? You want to go?" Jaune asked, not even trying to mask his surprise. 

"Yeah... I... I think I need a break from... this." Weiss motioned to the entire cafeteria, but it was clear to Jaune and Pyrrha exactly what she meant. "-just for tonight though." Weiss smiled, and it was a small smile but her first genuine smile in possibly the last month.

"Cool, we're staying overnight though." Jaune said. "You know since the week's over and we don't have classes or anything tomorrow."

"That's fine." Weiss said. Jaune smiled got up and headed toward the trash bin with his tray.

"Cool." Pyrrha said. "See you tonight." She added before following Jaune with her own tray.

Weiss once again rested her head on the table. Closing her eyes and letting out a tired yawn. The idea of falling asleep right then and there on the table of all places seemed quite appealing to Weiss right now.

* * *

Blake rushed out of the cafeteria, pushing the double doors open with a little more force than necessary. 

She could still here Ruby's accusations from this morning. The words ringing in her ear, torturing her every moment.

...Except they weren't just from this morning.

Memories flashed through Blake's head. Memories of Ruby lashing out at her.

At the hospital... 

_"There were four of us Blake, and look at what happened to her! Imagine if there was only you!"_

_"There is nothing for me to understand! I didn't even tell you where I was going, but you came!" She had yelled back before Ruby answered, furious._

_"Because we're a team! And teammates don't do stupid things that put their other teammates, their 'friends' in danger!"_

Blake stumbled down the hallway, tears beginning to form as she walked.

When Ruby learned about Yang...

_"This is all her fault!" Ruby pointed at Blake._

_"Ruby, calm down!" Weiss had said, holding down her girlfriend._

_Finally Ruby whimpered. "She never deserved this..."_

Blake could feel the tears flowing freely now... She needed to get to somewhere no one could see her...

There had been more arguments over the weeks, of course, but those two stayed with Blake the most. 

Perhaps because in those ones Ruby was always right.

Blake shoved open the door to the roof before locking it behind her. More tears feel as Blake leaned back against the wall. One final comment from Ruby rung through Blake's head as she cried.

_"You don't deserve Yang."_

No. No she didn't.

* * *

Halfway across the city of Vale, one lone woman infiltrated a heavily guarded building on a mission.

Her boots hitting the floor were the only sound the resonated down the abandoned hallway. She made no attempt to hide the noise.

She had made it into the building without any alarm being tripped or such, and so far she only had to dispatch a handful of henchmen, who proved to be no problem for her.

She hadn't even needed to draw her weapon.

As she turned the next corner, two henchmen in the middle of the hallway noticed her presence. Yet all she did was continue walking Toward them while they froze and drew their weapons.

"Miss, I'm afraid you can't be-" The first henchman spoke before the silent woman lurched forward and attacked.

Using only her bare fists, she was able to stun the closer one with a punch to their gut. With another half stride the woman was able to grab the second henchman and slam his head into the wall, leaving a quite noticeable dent.

Oh well. When she was done they'd know she was here anyway.

Quickly the woman turned her attention back to the first henchman who was still stunned. She grabbed the man by his neck and slammed him against the wall.

Without a sound she pulled out a piece of paper with a room number scrawled on it. She showed the paper to the guard. Panicking, the henchman quickly pointed her down the hall. The woman smiled and then pulled the man's head down to the ground, knocking him unconscious as well.

She continued on her slow, silent walk until she reached the room the henchman had pointed her to. Indeed, the room number matched the number scrawled on the paper. Reaching her hand up, she knocked three times.

Behind the door the door the woman heard strained movement followed by a slew of curses. As the door opened the man answering it began to talk.

"I thought I said not to disturb-" The man said, until he realized that he wasn't speaking to his henchman.

"Shi-" He said as he attempted to close the door. However the woman stopped to door with one hand, before pushing it open.

"Junior, is it?" The woman questioned, walking through the open doorway.

Junior walked back a step for each step the woman took forward. "How did you get in here!?"

"You might want to invest in some better henchmen." She deadpanned, stepping forward another step. She looked 'Junior' over. The man was covered in white cloth in multiple places. "Not that they seem to be doing much good."

"Ha. Ha." He said, eyes scanning the room for something, anything to help him. He stepped back again. "What do you want?" He snarled, before his back hit the solid window. His eyes widened in panic and he swung his head toward the outside.

 _I had seen that girl make that jump just a month ago..._ He told himself.

No, I'm no trained hunter. I'd never make it.

"What do I want?" The woman said in mock humor. "I heard you had some... interesting info."

"So?" Junior said closing his eyes as the woman gripped the collar of his shirt.

The pretend humor was gone now, replaced with complete seriousness. "Info that I need."

The tip of a blade was pressed against Junior's throat.

"...about?" Junior cautiously spoke, attempting to inch away from the blade. When he received no response, he opened his left eye.

Staring back at him were two blood red eyes.

"Tell me everything you know about Blake Belladonna."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy... I've been way to busy to write much, so this is perhaps one of the shortest chapters I've written in a while. Not going to lie it is definitely a filler chapter... I'm so sorry for the ridiculously long wait. On my part, there is no excuse for a two month wait for a chapter of this size.

For Weiss, the last class of the day, history, was pure hell.

To start, Weiss had trouble managing to drag Ruby to their class, only to learn that her other teammate had gone and decided not to show up.

Before Weiss could go find Blake, the bell rung and Professor Oobleck rushed into the classroom, already talking a mile a minute.

Weiss sighed, unceremoniously plopped herself into the chair next to her girlfriend, and opened her textbook, even though it only took _one_ look at Ruby for Weiss to know that she'd be too busy with the girl for the book to be any use.

* * *

Blake sat in her bed with her legs pulled into her chest. She couldn't go to class, not like this. Wet tear lines covered her cheeks, and the cloth around her wrists was soaking wet from drying her eyes with it.

She missed Yang. She missed her so much. She couldn't go on like this without her.

When had she become so dependent on the girl? In the short time they had went out, Blake had been too focused- too blinded by Adam's return to spend much time with Yang at all. So when had Yang become so important to her?

Maybe it was the guilt. The guilt of knowing it was her fault.

Yet something told her that if it had been Ruby or Weiss who was gone, Blake wouldn't be like this. She didn't mean to think in that way... It was just _true_.

She could remember everything about Yang. Her smile, her laughter... and if she tried real hard, she could even remember their conversations, word for word. Even the ones when she had been barely listening to her girlfriend, she could remember, though it was harder...

Sometimes the memories came to Blake and she could remember it, clear as day.

Like just now. She could just remember Yang and her talking, in this exact spot. It was a memory from before everything had went to hell. Before Adam showed up... and before Blake and Yang had even gotten together at all.

* * *

 

> _Whatcha reading?" Yang asked, hanging off her top bunk upside down._
> 
> _"Huh?" Blake asked, surprised by the blonde. "Oh. A book."_
> 
> _"No duh." Yang said, smiling at Blake. "What's it about?"_
> 
> _"It's um... It's about these two girls in medieval times... each in a rival clan... they meet one day when their clans are at war in the nearby forest when one of them saves the other from death, and then the girl she saved forced to be her, uh..." Blake flushed, not liking where her explanation was headed. "...'slave.'"_
> 
> _"Ooooo. is Blakey reading another one of her smut novels?" Yang snickered playfully as Blake blushed._
> 
> _"Blakey? When'd you come up with that?"  Blake asked the giggling Yang._
> 
> _"What, do you not like the nickname I came up with for you?"_
> 
> _"But.... Blakey?"_
> 
> _Yang hummed in confirmation, and Blake only sighed._
> 
> _"You know, besides that whole fighting each other part and the whole smut part, those two girls are just like us." Yang added after thinking for a moment._
> 
> _"How so?" Blake asked. "I'm sure I'm going to love to hear this."_
> 
> _"Well, we met in the forest, when I saved you from the **treacherous** Grimm."  Yang jokingly said. "Then you had no choice but to be my partner for four years. Four years in which you were oppressed as my 'slave'."  Yang said, knowing fully well Blake hadn't been talking about just any kind of 'slave'._
> 
> _"I'm pretty sure the only thing you're oppressing is your own clothing." Blake said, looking at the way too tight yellow top Yang had on. "And I'm pretty sure most of those details are wrong," Blake said. "And besides, did you really have to compare us to two characters from a lewd novel?"_

* * *

Things like that didn't help. They only reminded Blake more and more that she was gone. That she wasn't coming back.

More tears began to fall from Blake's face once again.

She missed her. _Oh God did she miss her..._ everything about her.

_Her vibrant personality to her corny jokes to her smiles and laughter._

_It wasn't the same without her. It would never be the same without her._

_Team RWBY was no more._ Blake admitted. _We're just three girls... struggling to hold anything together. Without her, without Yang- Ruby wasn't really Ruby, Blake wasn't really Blake, and Weiss wasn't really Weiss._

* * *

The bell ringing was Weiss's signal that classes for the day are finally done. After a moment, Ruby picked  herself up without a word and walks toward to door, which meant it was up to Weiss to gather their stuff. One quick glance at her own open notebook shows her exactly what she suspected, that she had too focused on Ruby to realize that she herself had forgotten to take many notes. Only about three lines of writing filled on the noticeably blank page.

With a sigh, Weiss began to gather Ruby's stuff. It was a pile a textbooks and notebooks that the girl herself certainly hadn't used since before Yang's...

As Weiss was gathering the books, she felt someone bump into her and a paper drops in front of her.

It was... notes... of today's lesson. Weiss looked up to see Pyrrha. 

"I saw that you were busy with Ruby for most of class... so I took some notes for you." She explained kindly.

"Thanks... I owe you one." Weiss told her.

"Nonsense." She said. "I just thought you'd like them."

Weiss smiled back at Pyrrha before the champion heades to the exit of the classroom, where Jaune waited for her.

_It's nice to know that there are still people who had her back._

* * *

Ruby entered the dormitory empty handed, having long since abandoned Weiss in the classroom. After unlocking and entering the room, her eyes lock with Blake's.

Ruby looked at the girl in pure disgust, and causing Blake to flinch away and look at the ground.

"You skipped class." Ruby said, not a question but a fact.

Blake said nothing and instead only pulled her legs closer toward herself.

Ruby glared angrily at the Faunus before snorting at her and walking into the bathroom. The loud slamming of the door being flung shut behind her, shakes the entire room and makes Blake flinch slightly at the sound.

However, Blake doesn't make a move to get up and leave, instead remaining seated in her bed.

Minutes pass and when Ruby still doesn't emerge from the bathroom, Weiss returns, holding a pile of textbooks and notebooks.

"You weren't at class." She says, but not in an accusing tone like how Ruby asked her. Weiss's voice is gentle and questioning, as if wanting to know the reason behind it. Blake had realized just how much losing Yang had affected all of them.

_While Ruby had become angry and cold, Weiss had become gentler and more helpful. It was almost like the two of them switched personalities._

_And herself... she had returned to being anti-social, but more so then originally. She barely talked to anyone besides Team RWBY and JNPR, and even then conversation were few and far between._

"I... I needed some time to myself." Blake said, which was part of the truth. 

"Alright." Weiss said, understanding. "Got it." Weiss walked over to the bunk she and Ruby shared, and then placed the stack of books on her bed. "I'm going to Vale with Team JNPR for the night."

"What?" Blake looked up at the heiress. "You're leaving me alone with her?"

"Relax, it's just for one night." Weiss said reaching into her pocket for her scroll. "And if you worst comes to worst you can spend the night in Team JNPR's dorm. I just... need some time for myself." She quoted Blake's statement from earlier.

"Are... are you sure about this?" Blake asked, worried. The thought of Weiss, the one true peacekeeper between the two of them, leaving her alone with Ruby for a night worried her immensly.

Weiss opened the scroll in her hands to view the large black screen. She looked at the device, her eyes viewing the reflection the glass created. She actually couldn't even remember the last time she had looked at her own reflection. Ever since Ruby lost it, vanity hadn't ever really been a concern of hers. "Yeah." She said, quietly at first. Her thumbs glossed over the black screen, taking the image in. Big, exaggerated black lines covered the space below her eyes, and Weiss could notice the other small imperfections everywhere.

"Yeah, I'm sure." She snapped the screen shut in her hand.


End file.
